What I did this summer 

By George Hotz 
 
 
 

 

 June 26, 2006

      My first day of work. Crap. The alarm blared at 8:00. I wasn’t used to getting up that early, but I trudged out of bed and down the stairs just the same. I then proceeded to piss off my mom.

      Me: “Mom, I want waffles”

      Mom: “No”

      Me: “Make me waffles”

      Mom: “No”

      Me: “Make me waffles NOW!!!”

      Mom: “Ok”

I took a shower and crawled back into bed.

      Me: “Mom bring my waffles upstairs”

      Mom: “No”

      Me: “Julia(my sister), bring my waffles upstairs”

      Julia: “No”

      Me: “I’ll beat you up”

      Julia: “Ok”

Within a minute, my waffles were waiting at the foot of my bed. I stuffed my face. Then I realized I had to go to work. I already hated work and it hadn’t even started yet 
 
 
 

      June 29, 2006

      Not again. The alarm blared. I leapt up. I realized I must have hit the snooze button a couple times, because it was already 8:46. I got dressed and flew down the stairs. No one was home. Now, how was I supposed to get to work? My parents must have left already. I hate them. I hope they crash their cars. Just kidding ;-)

      I took my bike the 8 miles to work. I was an hour late. I was very angry. 

      July 4, 2006

      The parade. I set the alarm for 7:30. I had hoped I would see hot girls at the parade. The parade sucked. There were only ugly clowns. I hate clowns. 

      July 9, 2006

      I am done. When I awoke that morning I proclaimed this would be my last day of work. I didn’t feel like going anymore. Also I didn’t get paid much. I like money, and I don’t like a lack of money. I realized that if I was going to quit, I shouldn’t even go into work today. I really had quit. I went back to bed. 

      July 13, 2006 (5:30 AM)

      I discovered this awesome thing. Not sleeping. It was 5:30, and I was still awake. Do you know what is so magical about 5:30? I do. The bagel store opens. Yay. I get bagels. And these aren’t just any bagels. These are the best bagels, because they are warm, toasty, and flavorful. It is so worth staying up for bagels. 

      July 14, 2006

      Tommorow, I leave for camp. I am going to CTY, a nerd camp, to study existentialism. I hope it will show me the meaning in my life. I had read this awesome book, “The Game: The Secret Society of Pickup Artists.” I was now pro at picking up girls. This is a very important skill to have at CTY. I figured I should test out my skills. I headed to the Ice House. On Friday nights, they have skate night.  It is like a dance club, but for teenagers with ice skating. It’s hard to explain. But there are hot girls there. If you are interested in how I pick up hot girls, check out fastseduction.com.

      I eyed my target. She was 5’3”, blonde hair, brown eyes, and damn fine. I give her a 9. I went over to her and opened with the line “I need a girl’s opinion about this” Girls love to give there opinions. I’m not going to tell you anymore, but suffice it to say, the game really works. I made out with her by the end of the night. 

      July 19, 2006

      Ahh, CTY. It is refreshing to be here. I get to meet new people, learn new stuff, and hook up with girls all in the same place. I love CTY. 

      July 21, 2006

      The first CTY dance. I had already been working on a girl named Ali. She was hot, 15(not 12(long story)), and perfect for me. We slowdanced to the last song, and I walked her back to her quad(the dorm place). We kissed. 
 

      July 23, 2006(12:15 AM)

      Lights out was at 10:30 PM. I had already broken curfew, and I was about to violate another CTY rule. I was headed for a girls room. I called Ali.

      Me: Hey

      Her: Hey

      Me: Is your RA asleep

      Her: Yes

      Me: Perfect

      I crept up the quad steps, slinked to her room, and opened and shut the door. This is going to be like Blind Date. I don’t speak of what goes on behind closed doors. 

      August 10, 2006

      Two more days of CTY. The food here is great. I don’t eat nearly this well at home. Ali broke up with me 2 days ago. Who knows why? Maybe because I danced with Nina. I didn’t care that much, and I didn’t even feel like going for another girl. I was happy enough. I love CTY. 

      August 12, 2006

      I am in the car coming home. After all that existentialism, I still didn’t get my life. Fine. Maybe life has no meaning. I wish I were back at CTY. 
 
 

      August 16, 2006

      I am depressed. Life sucks. I figured out what to do. I downloaded Seasons 1 and 2 of LOST. 

      August 21, 2006

      LOST is an amazing show. I haven’t left my house in three days, except to get bagels, which are basically all I have eaten. Yes, these are 5:30 AM bagels. 

      August 22, 2006

      I finished lost, and I think I am getting sick from my crappy diet. I really miss LOST. For the last three days, I have become immersed in there world. Their lives seem to really have meaning. I mean, they need to get off that island. I don’t need to do anything. I feel worthless. 

      August 24, 2006

      It is 2:30 AM. I don’t feel like coming home. I shut off my cell phone and sat down in the forest behind my house. I don’t want to deal with anyone or anything. 

      August 25, 2006

      I wasted my summer. I got nothing done. At least tomorrow I have a CTY reunion. Maybe they will understand what I’m feeling. 
 

      August 31, 2006

      I am a bit happier. I downloaded seasons 1 and 2 of South Park. I now have something to do again. 

      September 2, 2006

      Today is House of Slackers. House of Slackers is the robot event we have been planning for the last 2 months. I have been pissed at my friends lately, but I will hide that for the event. 

      September 3, 2006

      I want Meghan Kane. She is so perfect for me. She is smart, funny, and good-looking. This is the first time in a while I have really liked a girl. But whenever I really like girls, I get nervous around them. It is really bad. 

      September 6, 2006

      School starts in two hours. This summer sucked. I did get started on my science fair project, but I didn’t get Meghan Kane L